After the Offing, aka The Gashleycrumb Culprits

With apologies to the estate and ghost of Edward Gorey:
a poem to complement "After the Outing" aka "The Gashleycrumb Tinies".


A is for Abner, who pushed her in rage.
B is for Bertha who opened the cage.

C is for Charles, who ate off her plate.
D is for Dorothy who grabbed him—too late.

E is for Edith, whose joke was ill-timed.
F is for Forrest, whose bath toy gift slimed.

G is for Gladys, who said she should hide;
H is for Helga, who said “wait outside”.

I is for Isaac, who said she should swim;
J is for Janet, who kept the lights dim.

K is for Kevin, whose trick needs more practice;
L is for Luther, whose cakes taste like cactus;

M is for Martin, whose boat had loose flooring;
N is for Nancy, whose girl games were boring.

O is for Oscar, who ran with sharp tools.
P is for PAT who incited the fools

Q is for Queenie, who watched out of sight;
R is for Reggie, who set her alight.

S is for Steven, who “borrowed” her pills;
T is for Tiffany’s chemistry skills.

U is for Unser, who thought it was funny;
V is for Vickie, who dared him—for money;

W is for William, the snowball fight winner;
X is for Xena, whose pets needed dinner;

Y is for Yasmine, the brickmaker’s daughter;
Z is for Ziggy, who said it was water.

The above artwork and integrated poem are both copyrighted to Edward Gorey