If The Press Secretary Should Yawn

If the Press Secretary should yawn
As news correspondents look on,
They should weigh before judging
That when facts need fudging
She's up in the crack of Don.

A Ladder to the Former

A sinner in Hell built a ladder,
High enough to complain to his Former.
 Said the former to the latter,
“I could have been badder.”
“Well, Hell,” said his Former, “could be warmer!”

Love-Bots for All Kinds

They make love-bots now in both sexes,
Fleshed in lifelike and lukewarm latexes.
For gender outliers,
One kit comes with pliers
And modular halves, so it flexes!

Your Wednesday Limerick: You Can't Spell Brain Without AI

My android’s manufacturer claims

He's so smart: he kicks ass and takes names!

But if so, I must ask:

Why won’t he try some task

Not involving my video games?

Your Wednesday Limerick: The Lips of Two Lepers

The lips of two lepers who pecked,
Fell off of their mouths and were wrecked.
When they French-kissed instead,
They both lost their heads,
And so, from then on, they just necked.